Mental Health Week 2025: Coming to Terms With My Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Your author wearing an ‘Anxious’ cap from Standard Goods he couldn’t pass up buying when he saw it at their Capitol Hill store in Seattle.
Disclaimer: nothing in this post should be considered medical advice. If you are seeking support, call 211, and if you are in crisis call 988.
This week is Mental Health Week in Canada, and it’s Mental Health Awareness Month in the United States. This year’s Mental Health Week theme is “Unmasking Mental Health”, speaking to how people hide this part of themselves out of fear of judgment or discrimination.
This post is about anxiety specifically, and my personal experience.
Estimates are that 18-20% of people (using the numbers for Canada and the United States) experience any kind of anxiety disorder in a given year, and 5% of Canadians experience a Generalized Anxiety Disorder in any given year. I’m one of them, having been diagnosed relatively recently in my life, though seeming to have experienced it since childhood without for the longest time understanding what it was. When I was finally diagnosed, it was after weeks of not being able to come down from a state of heightened anxiety.
Like many, I went back and forth about whether to say anything about it. In the end, I decided to share for four reasons:
One of the reasons I started my company was to be sure I could live my values through my work, and do things to a large extent on my own terms. So I have an opportunity to share this without worrying what my employer thinks, or a future employer thinks (and if a client - current or prospective - doesn’t want to work together because of that, well, good riddance). I feel like I’m in a position of privilege to share when others might not be.
I’ve learned through my own experience and sharing with others that anxiety disorders are not well understood by many, and this is an opportunity to help with that in a small way.
Anxiety disorders develop because of factors that can include genetics, brain chemistry, and environmental factors (especially trauma). No one living with one is at fault. It’s something that’s happened to us, not something we did. To me, being open about it speaks to that and says it’s not something to hide or be ashamed of, and that anyone living with one did nothing wrong (That said, I also believe that being open or not about it is entirely a personal decision and I respect what someone decides either way).
Many of the successful treatments, specifically the use of SSRIs and SNRIs (which have been a significant help for me) are under attack, with misinformation and dangerous ideas being spread by people in positions of influence. It’s important that people understand the benefits and transformative effect they can have.
All that being said, I will note that anxiety in all forms can be debilitating and challenging to deal with. The difference between common anxiety and a generalized anxiety disorder can be summarized as one being occasional, tied to specific events, and proportional, and the other being on-going, related to many (if not all) things, and often disproportionate or unrealistic. Read the story linked in the previous sentence, and this peer-review piece if you want to understand it in greater detail. Like many, whether it’s with health or other issues, if it’s all you know, you don’t realize it’s unusual or unhealthy, and that was my case. With symptoms that turned out to be related to anxiety, I just assumed they were normal things that everyone lived with, not knowing anything different (and as someone who tends to internalize things, they also have not always become apparent to others). I also made things harder on myself by writing off occasional anxiety attacks as things that “just happened from time to time”. I don’t recommend doing that.
What does it mean day to day when you have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder? A lot of overthinking, imaging every possible outcome - especially the worst case scenario - and playing through these scenarios in my head. It’s freezing or procrastinating, feeling the need to be perfect, rather than doing a good enough job. It’s being paralyzed by indecisiveness and struggling with uncertainty. All things I’m working on, but paradoxically I realize now in some ways have also helped me from time to time. I’ve been complemented by colleagues and employers as thorough, and for being creative and strategic in how I think about and approach issues. With reflection, I’ve realized that when I do that for every scenario (even when it’s unhealthy), it does have the effect of training my mind to do that in situations where it’s helpful, like the work place. The big challenge is channeling this in the right areas, and not overthinking when it’s unhelpful and counterproductive.
Overall, though, we all deal with stuff, and I consider myself a fortunate person. I have access and means to have the resources to first identify this and then to address it (a primary care physician, a psychologist, the means to undertake lifestyle changes as needed). It’s also manageable. I’m able to do this through:
Counselling. Working through my challenges with a professional psychologist. This isn’t for everyone, but I would recommend anyone try it and see if it’s for them. I know it’s made a huge difference for not just myself but many others.
Lifestyle adjustments. Even as a generally healthy person - I’m physically active and eat well - I admit it’s kind of annoying that all the things people tell you are healthy and good for you - proper sleep hygiene, limiting alcohol, etc, actually turn out to be beneficial.
Daily medication. Once it started having an effect prompted me to say to a friend that “this is what normal people must feel like most of the time”. I was lucky in that the first one we tried has had a positive effect, while for many it takes a period of trial and error. I’ve also accepted that it’s okay that I might need this for the rest of my life - as my therapist once said to me, I’d have no concerns taking meds for a physical issue, so why should I be bothered if I have to for a mental one. And despite what any health secretaries might tell you, going to work on a farm for a few years is not a substitute.
I still get anxious sometimes, and probably always will. And I have probably not had my last anxiety attack. It’s part of who I am, but it doesn’t define who I am. I’m also fortunate to be able to manage this in a way many cannot. And that’s part of why I believe it’s important to share my story.
In 2021, 54% of Canadians did not seek help for mental health concerns because of stigma or cost. Many people lack access to primary care, or absent benefits and disposable income, cannot afford on-going counselling and psychological support. As much as we’ve made advances over the past generation in awareness and acceptance, many feel a stigma still exists. A 2019 survey noted that 75% of people would be reluctant, or would refuse, to disclose a mental illness to an employer, and people are three times less likely to disclose a mental health issue than a disease like cancer. There are too many people suffering in silence, or suffering without even knowing why. As much as we’ve made progress, the work is far from done. The figures listed previously speak to a perception of stigma (real or perceived) that too many feel. Funding is not where it needs to be, either from government or the community, and the recent closure of Anxiety Canada due to a lack of sustainable funding is a loss that will be felt by many.
It’s up to those of us who can to advocate for better funding, more acceptance, and greater understanding. I just hope that, like Taylor Tomlinson says in her act, I’m hot and/or talented enough to be an inspiration for people with this condition (Alyssa Milano’s story about her own Generalized Anxiety Disorder is my Selena Gomez in this scenario).
If you’d like to make a difference this Mental Health Week and Month, considering sharing resources from, or if you can, making a donation to:
In Canada:
The Canadian Mental Health Association, or your local branch or region. (Disclosure: the Edmonton Region is a past client of mine).
In the United States:
The National Alliance on Mental Illness, or your state or local affiliate.